It doesn’t matter if you’re hungry or not. Senate Democrats, under the guidance of Chef Harry Reid and sous-chefs Ben Nelson and Joe Lieberman, have a shit sandwich that you have to eat. While Reid worked hard to make sure the bread stayed on, Nelson and Lieberman took out the honey ham, cheese, lettuce, tomato and mustard, then took the bread with them into the restroom. After they returned without washing their hands, they announced that the new sandwich was something they could see themselves allowing to be sent out of the kitchen. Harry Reid, whose judgment as chef has proven to be middling, ignored the protestation of other kitchen workers and put it on a platter.
There are some, like food critic Mitch McConnell, who wanted a shit sandwich all along, just so they could complain about how much it smelled and ask that it be sent back. McConnell’s lot aren’t food critics in the traditional sense, but critics of the very idea of food, as well as the existence of kitchens. By their estimation, humans should be able to live on water and sunlight. Anything more is unpalatable, which he’s said as gratingly – and often – as possible.
Democrats didn’t go into the kitchen for McConnell and his histrionic friends, but for everyone else in the dining area. The American diner asked for escargot and crispy shallot & pumpkin risotto, foie gras and Greek salad; indeed, they went to the restaurant with the assurance that they would get only the finest gourmet cooking, the kind Europeans had long enjoyed. But when the shift change came and Nancy Pelosi’s crew headed home, mouth-watering delicacies plated and ready to be served, Reid’s and his gang let them sit there until they were no longer fit for consumption.
Then an argument broke out. The kitchen needed more supplies, but no one wanted to go to the store. They would have to settle for making something with the few ingredients there were laying about. While everyone was trying to reach a consensus, Lieberman kept throwing more of those ingrediants in the trash. “Well, we’d better make a sandwich”, he finally blurted out.
So eat that shit sandwich up, America – by law, you’ll have to swallow the whole thing.
