Re:Generator Magazine

INSURANCE INDUSTRY: So it looks like the Baucus committee might finally pass something on Tuesday.
AMERICA: Yeah, even if Baucus is a total tool.
INSURANCE INDUSTRY: Cool, cool. Well, we’re gonna take a nap for a bit.
AMERICA: OK, see you later.
(INSURANCE INDUSTRY begins to walk away, pretends to stumble, drops folder onto the ground)
INSURANCE INDUSTRY: OOPS WE TRIPPED AND TOTALLY ACCIDENTALLY DROPPED THIS REPORT COMMISSIONED BY US CLAIMING WE’LL HAVE TO JACK UP EVERYONE’S PREMIUMS BY $4,000 IF REFORM IS PASSED THE DAY BEFORE THE SENATE FINANCE COMMITTEE IS SUPPOSED TO VOTE OH GOD SO SORRY–
AMERICA: …
INSURANCE INDUSTRY: WHAT AN OBVIOUS MISTAKE BUT AS LONG AS IT’S OUT THERE WE MIGHT AS WELL HAVE A LOOK AT IT RIGHT–
AMERICA: What are you…?
INSURANCE INDUSTRY: WE JUST WANT WHAT’S BEST FOR EVERYONE IT’S NOT LIKE WE’RE HOLDING AMERICA’S ENTIRE HEALTH CARE SYSTEM HOSTAGE WITH A THREAT BECAUSE THAT WOULD PROBABLY BE ILLEGAL IF THAT’S WHAT WERE ACTUALLY DOING WINK WINK
AMERICA: You assholes.