It used to be the only creatures you had to be afraid of catching something awful from were the wild ones. And dogs. And cows. And birds. And pigs. But now swine flu has been confirmed to have passed on to a cat in Iowa, as well as ferrets in Nebraska and Oregon.
While everyone expected cats to catch it sooner or later, the ferrets come as something of a surprise. Very little is known about the furry little mammals, save what has been gleaned in the most comprehensive documentary on their species to date, The Beastmaster.
Thanks to years of painstaking research and observation, we now know ferrets travel in pairs, chirping cutely while playing tricks on humans. They also make excellent thieves, their little mouths perfect for holding keys, and their bodies limber enough to squeeze through small holes in almost any dungeon. If the situation demands it, ferrets will sacrifice themselves for the greater good, but not before impregnating their partners.
These poor ferrets must have been trying to steal treasure from pigs, only to be caught, and coughed on as punishment. It’s the only explanation that makes any sense.
