We’re just going to admit it up front: we’re not like other critics. We haven’t seen The Diving Bell and the Butterfly, No Country for Old Men or There Will Be Blood. We wanted to see Daniel Day Lewis, one of the leading character actors of his generation, excel in yet another role – but you know what mall parking is like in December. We’re impatient people. Or maybe we’re just not arty enough. The fact remains that we can only offer opinions on movies we have seen, so to creatively paraphrase Donald Rumsfeld, you go to review with the movies you’ve watched in 2007.
No self-respecting black-clad hipster within driving distance of an art theater can in good conscience forgo watching Anton Corbijn’s Control, the elegant and melancholy biopic of the late Ian Curtis, lead singer of Joy Division. Filmed entirely in black and white, Control traces Curtis (Sam Riley) from adolescence, where he meets his future wife Deborah (Samantha Morton), to his tragic suicide just before Joy Division was to go on its first tour of America. A black sort of humor and convincing acting drawn you in, so that when a forlorn Curtis puts Iggy Pop’s The Idiot on the record player, your heart is already breaking. —Robert Starvation
Wes Anderson’s latest, The Darjeeling Limited, definitely took me by surprise. Owen Wilson, Adrien Brody and Jason Schwartzman make a nice sweet and sour curry blend of dry humour and cough syrup abuse about three brothers trying to find themselves deep in the middle of India, on a train called The Darjeeling Limited. What follows is a hilarious but touching adventure about what it’s like to be estranged from your family after a year of silence, and learning that sometimes you don’t have to go very far to find an answer. —Sam Pagan
As you may have guessed from Re:Generator’s ode to the film, we’re of the opinion that Grindhouse is an instant classic – a three-hour onslaught of cheap sex, gore and dialog circa 1973. Homages are always a dicey proposition, but between the more than capable team of Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino and their merry band of spoof-trailer producing associates, the cheese is aged to perfection. If Grindhouse has any weakness, it’s that it works best in theatres, where the fake trailers and missing reels feel natural, not tacked on, and where the audience becomes part of the entertainment. —Robert Starvation
Neil Gaiman has all the best ideas. Period. You think you have a good idea? You don’t. Neil has a better one. The man can write a damn fine story with solid characters, and he wrote the graphic novel that became the movie Stardust. If you couple Gaiman’s enormous talent with an all-star cast, you get an amazing flick that was really overlooked in this post Lord of the Rings world. —Ryan Jovian
We’re fudging it a little with this one, because technically Perfume – The Story of a Murderer was released in America in 2006. December 27, 2006. Perfume concerns a cursed orphan with unusually enhanced olfactory abilities who is driven to kill to create the perfect scent. It made something like $2 million on our shores, while in Europe it made over $100 million. Why the disparity? Perhaps it was because your average American isn’t big on ambiguity right now, and making a serial killer the protagonist was too much to ask of him. Or maybe we’re just not ready for depictions of spontaneous orgies. Whatever the reason, Perfume is a morbidly riveting epic worth tracking down on DVD. —Robert Starvation
Even if you don’t like westerns, you’re still liable to enjoy 3:10 To Yuma. I went to see it with an open mind, my opinion dangerously teetering on the merit of Christian Bale alone and the fact that it was a western. There was just enough action, drama, and humour to keep it interesting, and definitely kept you wondering if Russell Crowe’s character would stick to his outlaw trademark of betrayal or help someone in need for a change. —Sam Pagan
Clive Owen is one bad motherfucker. Whether he’s stabbing an assailant in the eye with a carrot or fighting a gun battle while – how can I put this delicately? – fucking Monica Bellucci, he never loses his cool. And neither does the wickedly over the top Shoot ‘Em Up, which by my estimate was the best spot of the old Ultra-Violence one could hope to find this year. —Robert Starvation
300 is possibly the gayest movie ever to enjoy such a degree of mainstream success with and repeat viewings by self-identified heterosexual males. What’s so gay about 300? Think of all oiled, shirtless flexing their chiseled abs, facing off against an army of Persians led by a God-King that makes RuPaul seem square by comparison. Yeah. GAY. Which is just fine, because Zach Snyder’s machismo-drenched adaption of Frank Miller’s graphic novel is an absolute blast. What’s wrong with gay, anyway? —Robert Starvation
By the power of Grey Skull! Hot Fuzz was beyond hilarious and proves to be very quotable in almost any situation. As Sgt. Nicholas Angel, Simon Pegg manages to keep a straight face and stay focused even when the most ridiculous or absurd things come his way. For instance, the running gag of the swan throughout the movie, or Danny Butterman’s obsession with the movies Bad Boys 2 and Point Break. The power of Pegg and Nick Frost are irrefutable and they prove to be one of the best comedy duos of this time. —Sam Pagan
I’ve got soul but I’m not a soldier. I’ve got soul but I’m not a soldier. I’ve got soul but I’m not a soldier. I’ve got soul but I’m not a soldier. I’ve got soul but I’m not a soldier. I’ve got soul but I’m not a soldier. I’ve got soul but I’m not a soldier. I’ve got soul but I’m not a soldier. Yeah you know you gotta help me out. Yeah don’t you put me on the back burner yeah you gotta help me out.
I think Southland Tales was about time travel or something. I don’t know, but it had J-Timbo in it. —Ryan Jovian
