Television shows that did not make this year’s cut: I’m a Celebrity… Get Me out of Here!, The Tyra Banks Show, The Singing Bee, Medium, America’s Funniest Home Videos, MadTV, Last Call with Carson Daly, My Life as a Teenage Robot, Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, Criss Angel Mindfreak, How I Met Your Mother, Wow! Wow! Wubbzy!, Jon and Kate Plus 8, Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?, Keeping Up with the Kardashians, Nitro Circus, A Double Shot at Love, Bromance, From G’s to Gents, Paris Hilton’s My New BFF, My Super Sweet 16, The Hills, Is She Really Going Out With Him?, Jersey Shore. Better luck to those shows next year!
For my birthday last year, my sister-in-law and her husband bought me the first season of True Blood, a show that, until that very moment, I hadn’t ever heard of. The first ten minutes into True Blood left me speechless. Somebody died, somebody drank blood, and somebody had violent, screaming sex. It was so overwhelming, I found myself gasping and clutching my pearls for the entire show. Though the show was rampant with blood and skin, I couldn’t get over how great the plot was, and when the first episode ended I immediately watched the second one. The pacing, the sneakiness of it all, kept me watching. The sex didn’t hurt either, and there was a lot of sex. Bill and Sookie’s flawed but persistent romance is fun to watch, and the slew of insane supporting characters keeps me interested in all the crazy subplots that creator Alan Ball has going on. —Isaac James
I read about Pushing Daisies last November, sad to hear that it was already being canceled before I could give it a chance. The show is unique and fun, being utterly fantastical while staying a little realistic at the same time. Brought to us by the creator of Dead Like Me, another show about death and circumstances, Daisies amused me in ways no other show could. The storybook colours and the architecture of the set designs, the cozy and warm voice that narrates the character’s thoughts and moves the story along gently… it was like being read a fairytale for grown-ups.
The love triangle between Olive Snook, Ned, and Chuck (Charlotte) was sad, and you were almost always rooting for Olive anyway (especially after her first bout of spontaneous song). Chi McBride departed from the severe character he played in the first season of House M.D., showing a softer yet cynical side. Once the last episodes of Pushing Daises aired early this year, fans were happy yet still unsatisfied. It wasn’t enough that Olive was kinda-sorta able to get over Ned, or that Emerson Cod was able to… well, not to spoil anything, but he is able to achieve something he has wanted for many years.
Luckily, the writers of the show are planning on releasing a comic series to help give more life to the last episodes and extend the story further, much like Joss Whedon did for Buffy and Angel. This will be a great way to see more about the Ned the pie maker and Chuck the dead girl without having to resort to fan fiction. —Sam Pagan
Do you ever get the feeling some shows are just too smart for network TV? The drooling masses seem content to deliver big ratings to shows about doctors, lawyers, lawyers who moonlight as doctors, “real people” in “unscripted situations” that usually culminate in Gordon Ramsey yelling at them, and shows about Gordon Ramsey moonlighting as a doctor. 30 Rock don’t play like that. Tina Fey’s brainchild is in the business of skewering everything that moves, right through the gut. And it’s gut-busting, except when Jeff Dunham made an appearance, which was acceptable because he wasn’t supposed to be funny. That was a close call, but we only felt a sharp twinge of worry because we’re so invested in the comic foibles of Liz Lemon, Jack Donaghy, Jenna, Tracey, Grizz, Dot Com, and, when used sparingly, Kennith the Page. —Robert Starvation
A show that was dangerously close to having the same fate as other shows that are apparently too smart for some viewers, Better Off Ted has quick wit behind it and fantastic dialogue. The ridiculous things that happen in one laboratory of a multi-million dollar fictional company is enough to keep me glued to the screen, but there are so many other facets to Veridian Dynamics than just their greed and excellence in science and technology. There’s the relationship between the two top scientists who usually do more harm than good at the start, but are ultimately nerds with good hearts who mean well.
Portia De Rossi’s talent with playing a strong yet emotionally-oblivious Veronica is surprisingly spot-on, and you can never hate the character because deep down she, too, means well.
Each episode features a fake advertisement for Veridian Dynamics which relates to the subject of that week’s show, narrated in a deadpan tone as they pretty much state how indifferent they are to people. It makes the cynic in me smile. If you’re tired of reality shows and TV series that just won’t die, try something new with Better Off Ted. —Sam Pagan
How would liberals and independents survive a insane, sometimes racist freakout without the one-two punch of The Daily Show and The Colbert Report to lower their blood pressure? In defiance of the question so-called Serious People were asking in January (namely, how can TDS and TCR still be funny with a Democrat in the White House?), their left-leaning satire has flourished in a time when the party out of power terrorizes the one in control, the president lets campaign promises wither and die, and everyone watches in rapt horror as we clusterfuck our way to the poorhouse. Always and forever, Comedy Central’s crown jewels are required viewing for anyone who still has a sense of humor. —Robert Starvation
The new HBO series, Bored to Death, created by writer Jonathan Ames, features Jason Schwartzman as the leading character of the same name, in what appears as a clever sort of fictionalized alter ego fantasy. The basic synopsis of Jonathan being dumped by his girlfriend and posting an ad on Craigslist as a private investigator has the right mixture of an old pulp novel and modern comedy, with Zach Galifianakis as his stoner best friend, Ray Hueston, who lives with his girlfriend that barters sex for couple’s therapy. It’s all quite enjoyable, with notable cameos by Parker Posey, John Hodgman, and Kristen Wiig (just to list a few). Bored To Death is well-written, and strangely charming. Despite the obvious bad ideas that these characters come up with, it’s fun to watch and giggle at. My favorite bad idea so far was George charging into a dangerous man’s house with a unicorn head on a stick (Janet) for a weapon. —xtine
Full disclosure: I am not a woman. I can, however, see blantant sexism in advertising, and howl like a maniac with laughter when Target: Women host Sarah Haskins takes down an especially egregious insult to women’s intelligence with her cutting humor. Whether admen are hawking the special dietary yogurt that turns Jamie Lee Curtis’ bowels to liquid or feeding on women’s fears that masked strangers are going to break into their house and rape them to sell a security system, Haskins is on the case. If nothing else on Current TV is worth watching, Al Gore’s investment in the company would still be justified. —Robert Starvation
Parks and Recreation is a perfect show for the kind of humor that’s come up a lot in the last few years. The comedy of the show is as cartoonish and hilarious as it’s cousin, The Office. SNL alumnus Amy Poehler plays Leslie Knope, a bureaucrat who in the first season was hellbent on turning an abandoned pit into a park despite her less than accommodating coworkers. She has since had more time for other projects and personal affairs in the second season. Poehler is fantastic in her role, bringing energy and cleverness to what some critics had originally said was a tame show. If she keeps up her energy, then I don’t see the show going south anytime soon. —Isaac James
A very interesting thing happened behind the scenes with The Venture Bros this season, and I’m pretty sure it’s because we (“we” being the adoring and almost retardedly devoted fans, as well as the nurturing and mothering creators) just don’t want it to end! The fourth and final season of the beloved cartoon has been split in half! Meaning what we saw this year, a measly 7 episodes, was only the beginning! Oh wait, there was another interesting thing that happened, but that’s the fault of whoever is in charge of pressing buttons on the west coast broadcasting of Adult Swim. Yeah, the premiere episode was wrecked and massacred when halfway through it started to play OVER again. Not even the week long of repeats could make up for the hate brewing inside all those Venture fans in the sunny state of California.
As for the season itself, there is no other word but epic. 24 is truly dead, sort of. I mean, he’s talking to 21 but we have yet to know if it’s an Obi Wan kind of thing, or if 21 is just insane. Regardless, he’s buff and kicking Brock Sampson’s ass now. Or at least giving him a good fight. Dr. Mrs. The Monarch got hotter; who knew it was possible?! And Dr. Venture is still a good-for-nothing. So far, so terrific! —xtine
What can I say? ABC knows comedy. I don’t get around to watching too many half-hour shows, but this season I’ve fallen for two of them, and Modern Family is one those two. The show is a is set up as a mockumentary, like The Office or Parks and Recreation. It basically pokes some fun at the evolution of the traditional family. Jay Pritchett, an older divorcee played by Ed O’Neill, has remarried a young Latin hottie and together they are raising her son. Jay’s daughter Claire is married with three kids and is the typical modern housewife: bossy, controlling, and clearly doing all the work on her own. Jay’s son Mitchell and his fabulous Boyfriend Cameron are a gay couple that have just adopted an infant Vietnamese baby named Lily. It really is cute to see how the three families learn to handle such non-traditional circumstances, such as a dramatically younger step-mother/step-grandmother or an uncle who is a classically trained clown. Good show! —Isaac James
If This is Spinal Tap had been made in the 1990s at the height of the second wave of Norwegian Black Metal, it would have been called Metalocalypse. 2009 was a banner year for this tongue-in-cheek cartoon about the fictional yet real band Dethklok. Switching to a longer, 30-minute format, Brenden Small’s genius opus to all things “brutal” brought twice as much funny every week. Catch Metalocalypse on Adult Swim and revel in all the humor and some of the most brutal metal of all time. —Ryan Jovian
I know that everybody knows what’s going to happen in V, but I think that makes it all the more thrilling. Aliens show up on Earth, all gorgeous and powerful, and chaos ensues betwixt humanity. Do we trust them? Do we shun them? We, the audience at home, know they mean business, but opposition to them is dwindling with the exception of the couple of people that are trying to form a resistance. They’re totally evil and only a few of us know, and I watch it at the edge of my seat, wondering if those poor humans are going to make it out. It’s like Animorphs, except nobody can morph, and we all know about the aliens. It’s got little details that make a sci-fi nerd like me smile, like holographic projectors and floating bomb thingies. The show is good, and it looks like it’ll be the only role Morena Baccarin will be suited to play. [Editor's note: Not true. One word: Firefly.] She’s got that weird, elfish, Borg queen vibe going for her as Anna, the leader of the Visitors. —Isaac James
Burn Notice continues to surprise and entertain me every season, and I’m not just saying that because of Bruce Campbell – although he was originally the reason I started watching, because I figured if Bruce thought it was good enough for him, it was good enough for me. The truth of the matter is that it really is a quality show. There are so many things to like about it. One of them is Michael’s mom, Madeline. Her character is so different than what you’d expect from the mom of an ex-spy. It’s refreshing and hilarious. The relationship between Bruce Campbell’s character, Sam, and Madeline is that of two relatives who generally like each other but only behind closed doors, and they’re not even related! With Fiona kicking down the “girls are weak” stereotype with her itchy trigger finger and C4 know-how, this series has enough action, romance (some), and sarcasm to keep fans happy. —Sam Pagan
Imagine everyone on Earth blacking out at the same time. Cars in motion crash into walls or other cars. Planes come crashing to the ground. All over the world millions of people die while doing the simplest of actions: bathing, bike-riding, even walking down a flight of stairs. And 137 seconds into it, the blackout ends, and the survivor wake up having seen a vision of the future. This is the premise for ABC’s amazing new show FlashForward. In it, the charactesrs have to deal with the visions they saw, however pleasant or disturbing. Dr. Bryce Varley, played by Zachary Knighton, was ready to commit suicide when the blackout occured, and in the future not only is he still alive, but he’s in love. On the other hand, Dr. Olivia Benford, played by Sonya Walger, wakes up with a lover in her house who is definitely not her husband. The visions present the characters and the show’s viewers with several comprehensive questions. Can we change the future? If we can change it, should we? And what about the present? In the show, following the blackout, there is a huge disregard for the now, as everybody becomes obsessed with what they saw. Very few shows that I have seen have left me both excited to see the next show and nervous to see it at the same time. —Isaac James
What the fuck, HBO? You cancel Flight of the Conchords after only two seasons, but let Entourage run until the end of days? Of the two, only one legitimately qualifies as comedy, and it’s not the one with all the Mazaratis. What’s that? They were done after two seasons? Well… Entourage still sucks. —Robert Starvation
Anthony Bourdain is getting old. The older he gets the most introspective his show No Reservations becomes. The latest season of Bourdain’s travel and food show took us to very few “exotic” locations and chose to highlight what would seem to be mundane locales like Montana, San Francisco or the Rust Belt, but he manages to find unique and interesting stories to tell everywhere he goes. Even the potentially shark-jumping episode in Sardinia which included his wife and family managed to feature poignant ideas and showcase the social conscience that has become the trademark of the show. The only question now is where will Tony Bourdain go next? —Ryan Jovian
Martha Stewart is a true celebrity. Most of America holds her in some regard or other. Either we worship her every word, or we have a coop of chickens laying eggs that we intentionally let go bad before we throw them at her. For those folks, and any in between, you really need to watch Whatever, Martha. All the show consists of is Martha’s daughter Alexis Stewart sitting on a couch with her friend, Jennifer Koppelman Hutt. Old episodes of Martha’s television show come on the screen and the ladies find reasons to make fun of it. It’s the greatest show ever! Who’d have thought that making fun of somebody could be so entertaining to watch? And Alexis is a star of stars. Her attitude is shocking, or perhaps completely normal, when considering who her mother is. You’d think she’d be a little like her mother. On the contrary, she’s been labeled the “Dark Martha” and she doesn’t shy away from it. If you like making holiday garland in just 26 easy steps, or if you want to watch while somebody berates said garland, turn on Whatever, Martha. —Isaac James
To include Dollhouse on a best-of list, one must begin with a caveat. Dollhouse was daring, smart, unparalleled television – except when it was stupid, nearly unwatchable drek. It was never easy to tell which Dollhouse would air any given week, and that’s part of the reason it was the lowest rated show on network television. Unlike Firefly, Fox gave Joss Whedon two seasons, both of which were allowed to air to completion. Also unlike Firefly, Dollhouse was not fully formed from the get-go, and often stumbled around blindly until it found good. It’s sad to see it go, but Whedon proved with Dr. Horrible that you don’t need a network to do career-high work. In a case like his, perhaps it’s better that way. —Robert Starvation
Courtney Cox has returned to prime time. If you watched ABC at all in the last year, then you probably saw that same commercial promoting her new show at least once a day. I wasn’t sure how many more times I could watch her shake her under arm fat or pinch her dangling elbow skin before it would send me screaming into another room. Fortunately, the commercials came to an end, and my stomach was eased. Cougar Town is good, very good. It might even be funnier than that other show that Cox is known for. Cox plays a woman who is starting to get on in her years. Her two confidantes, Laurie and Ellie, are polar opposite characters, with Cox stuck in the middle. Ellie is homey, dignified, smart, and really mean. Laurie is young, adventurous, fun-loving, and a little stupid. The jokes are packed into a tight 30-minute show. Often I’ll have to rewind once or twice to get the jokes that I missed because I was laughing over them. —Isaac James
Four seasons into a series, it isn’t unusual for writers to become stymied in continuity, running low on ideas and bereft of the energy and urgency that made their show resonate with viewers to begin with. After two nail-biting seasons and a third that, while more laid back, was a fascinating character study, Dexter seemed to be slipping into that trap as America’s favorite serial killer entered fatherhood and the suburban hell his family relocated to. After a promising start, the middle of season 4 seemed to be losing momentum at an alarming rate.
But even before he crossed paths with the shows titular anti-hero, John Lithgow’s portrayal of Arthur Mitchell was electrifying. He was truly convincing as a monster, the worst Dexter had ever seen. There were more than a few times that he made your skin crawl. It was a career-defining role for an actor who had already had several, and it could only have been pulled off by an actor of Lithgow’s caliber.
Eventually the quality of the rest of the show caught up with Arthur’s inspired creepiness, which made for a gripping third act that ended with an appropriate game-changer that I’d be remiss to go into any detail about (trust me, some things are better discovered in due time). Regardless, Dexter continues to be one of the best shows on television because it’s not afraid to thrill, to challenge, to surprise, and to linger in your memory long after the end credits have run. And remember, kids: It’s already over. —Robert Starvation
