2008 took Re:Generator in strange and exultant new directions as we skirted relevancy. With this new visibility came the inevitable accolades (“[T]he best in political and cultural commentary/analysis. … Robert Starvation is one of my favorite writers in any genre, and reading his trenchant analysis of this curious society in which we live literally makes my day,” enthused Kendra Steiner Editions, while Grammy award nominee Chuck Dodson called Robert’s explanation of how the Grammy process really works “insightful”), backhanded compliments (Amy Z. Quinn at the McClatchy Washington Bureau suggested we were “bored cubicle-bound jokesters”) and ham-fisted criticism (of our initial reaction to John McCain’s selection of Sarah Palin as his running mate, conservative blogger Ace of Spades mockingly referred to it as “this charmingly enlightened analysis,” puncuating his commentary with “Nuance. Layers. Progressive thought,” apparently oblivious to ironic detachment, layers, and yes, nuance, a trend only exacerbated by his mindless followers). And while Re:Generator certainly abused the hell out of the “politics” category with its extensive coverage of the presidential election, much of our best work was outside of it. It is these achievements we come to celebrate, and, when no one is looking, bury.
Who needs a healthy childhood when you can maddog the carcasses of sacrificed buffalo?
by Sam Pagan
The only thing worse than informing a young Nepalese girl that she’s a goddess early in life is revoking said goddesshood when she’s just old enough for it to have a devastating psychological impact.
I was a tool of the DNC: Bullshitting people is easy, Eloquence under a threadbare cloak and The Have’s and Have-more’s
by Robert Starvation
Robert learns an important lesson about canvassing: canvassing is a terrible job.
To Serve Man (Bwahahaha)
by rex opolis
After perusing The Testicle Cookbook, rex offers up the recipe of her own favorite gonad gastronomical delight.
What do women have against mustaches?
by Robert Starvation
Other than they’re ugly and absurd and Hitler and Stalin and Saddam and evil Angel from that third season Christmas episode of Buffy all had one?
Bare clavicle is the new nipple
by Sam Pagan
Sam has been to every dark corner of the Internet, and therefore isn’t easily shocked, but a pro-anorexia Livejournal community has that extra “oomph!” needed to push her over the edge.
Welcome to the club
by Robert Starvation
Connecticut joins the exclusive legalized gay marriage club, just as California finds it may be unable to attend further social gatherings.
Pillaging ain’t easy
by KK4
Anything goes when it comes to hoes, they go: Pillaging ain’t easy (Pillagaing’ ain’t eee-zyy).
The danger of falling gas prices
by Ryan Jovian
Most Americans have been overjoyed to discover that filling up a tank of gas is no longer synonymous with highway robbery, but Ryan, expert curmudgeon that he is, is fully capable of finding the cloud to every silver lining. As it turns out, he didn’t have to look very far to find a downside.
Soon, all of life’s major moments will be experienced via Twitter
by Robert Starvation
Twittering is so much better than having to relate to people in meatspace, don’t you agree?
Airports – Now With More Oggling!
by Jessica
It’s every non-exhibitionist’s worst nightmare: a peepshow, free of charge, and worse, free of the wages and tips strippers get as compensation.
National Terrible Products Day: Friday, October 17 is National Terrible Products Day*, Terrible Product #1: Rape Whistle, Terrible Product #2: The Palm Pistol, Terrible Product #3: Helmet Heroes, Terrible Product #4: Head O State, Terrible Product #5: John McCain’s Presidential Campaign and Bonus! Terrible Product #6: Poo book
by Staff
There is an embarrassment of terrible products clogging up the marketplace. Re:Generator went deep undercover – so deep we came out the other end and were overcover again – to expose but a few of the useless, stupid and downright horrifying wares that a consumer can purchase if so inclined.
The Wizarding World DOES Exist!
by Jessica
Jessica knew all along the invisibility cloak seen in the Harry Potter series was possible. She was just waiting for science to catch up with her.
Craigslisting: Looking for Love in all the Wrong Places…
by rex opolis
Meet Ted. He has some interesting looking chest hair, if we do say so ourselves…
Scaring the Piss out of ME: California’s Proposition 8
by Jessica
As the passage of California’s anti-gay marriage initiative Proposition 8 loomed ominously, those who were gay or were supportive friends and family members of gays had plenty of reasons to be scared.
My boyfriend drove me to Warcrafting
by xtine
xtine used to laugh at hardcore gamers who couldn’t stop playing World of Warcraft. That is, until she became one of those people who couldn’t stop playing WoW.
Scaring the Piss Out of You: Ice
by Ryan Jovian
Will the human race be done in by nature’s iciest killer, ice?
Limey science… FROM THE FUTURE
by Robert Starvation
It’s not that Lord Drayson, Britain’s new minister of science, is full of shit. It’s just that there’s little to no possibility that he’s not full of shit.
Cooking Mama kills animals, oh noes!
by Sam Pagan
PETA, subtle as always, loses friends and alienates people with their latest anti-carnivore campaign, which uses the Nintendo DS game Cooking Mama as a point of reference.
Does This Mean I’m Not Happy?
by Isaac James
Isaac ponders the implications of a study that finds the less television a person watches, the happier they tend to be.
Oh, the (painful, painful) irony
by Robert Starvation
Damien Hirst feels the pain of an underclass suffering the very real effects of a historic recession. That’s why, although he won’t be donating any of the riches he rakes in for producing objects he labels “art,” he will be lowering their price tags by several million dollars apiece.
Thought experiment
by Robert Starvation
What sort of message is the American Family Association trying to send?
Detroit Rock Bottom City
by Ryan Jovian
Bailout or not, the Big Three automakers should rethink the products they’re putting on the market. Here’s a suggestion: compact cars with gun turrets.
Scaring the piss out of you: super ants
by Robert Starvation
Lasius neglectus are the Africanized Honey Bees of the ant world. Africanized Honey Bees, however, are in no way the Lasius neglectus of the bee world.
The graphic novels are better: 30 Days of Night
by Sam Pagan
Or, why a restraining order should be written keeping FEARnet at least 500 feet away from another 30 Days of Night miniseries.
Maybe it was better when it was actually forbidden?
by Crow Skyler
Of all the bad ideas mankind has dreamed then brought into fruition, Twilight-affiliated blood perfume is the latest.
