2009 was not an easy year. In the midst of the worst economic crisis in living memory, certain adjustments had to be made. Some of our veteran writers posted less, or went off the grid altogether. Those who did stick around often had to contend with competing priorities, with writing for the love of writing trailing behind the need to have a roof over their heads and food in their bellies. Despite these hardships, Re:Generator was still capable of rising to the occasion, producing work as good as or better than anything we’ve done since we burst onto the scene in the boom days of 2006. We welcomed talented new writers into the fold; we gave coordinated and entertaining coverage of San Diego Comic-Con, and appeared in an episode of Hey Ash Whatcha Playin’ filmed at Penny Arcade Expo; we painted a fairly accurate portrait of life at the beginning of the Obama era, agitated honkeys and all; and we held on to our collective sanity by the skin of our teeth. These are no small accomplishments, and we hope hope you, like us, see better days as we enter a new decade.
Blago Death Watch: Blago Death Watch, week 3 ½, Blago Death Watch, day 29, Blago Death Watch, one month in, Confrontation? There’s no need for that…, Blago Death Watch, day 41, Blago Death Watch, week six, Blago Death Watch: Doomsday and That kid has a future in baseball
by Robert Starvation
What can one say about former Illinois Governor Rod Blogojevich’s hair that hasn’t been said already? Blago’s coif is a thing of beauty: fucking golden, if you will. The man himself is a corrupt, delusional megalomaniac who had to be dragged kicking and screaming from his position of power, but his locks remain unimpeachable.
One step forward, two steps back
by Ryan Jovian
Who lives with the paralyzing fear that Brown People are coming to get them? White America, of course!
Money instead of spiders
by Crow Skyler
In some parts of the third world, spiders are considered a form of valid currency and can be traded for goods and services.
Ladies, your estrogen enhanced urine is polluting the earth – stop that!
by Sam Pagan
It’s a scientific fact that women’s birth control-polluted urine is causing male infertility. So says the Vatican, which has no agenda or reason to lie.
Doomier and Gloomier
by KK4
KK4, finding Re:Generator’s Doom and Gloom levels to be dangerously low, rectifies the imbalance by offering a blunt assessment of Israel’s occupation of the West Bank.
Space is Talking to Us
by Jessica
Can someone tell outer space to stop yelling at us? It needs to use its inside voice.
PETA – hard to take seriously
by Crow Skyler
People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals may be a popular target for everyone not affiliated with the organization, but they have ample reason to dislike it. PETA uses moronic hyperbole like the rest of humanity inhales and exhales oxygen.
Abortion Forced by Family in Afghanistan
by Isaac James
Attach “honor” to any heinous act committed towards a family member in Afghanistan and suddenly it’s a justifiable act of compassion. *rolls eyes*
Stop saving the Manatees already!
by Ryan Jovian
Ryan’s not saying you should go out and kill manatees, he’s saying that should they die at your hands, you would be a real American hero. There’s a clear distinction between the two.
Ugh, the AFA
by Isaac James
The Homosexual Agenda is a hard thing to pin down. Gays are so good at hiding what they really are, it appears as though they’re not all part of a monolithic entity that exists to convert children to lives of sin and shame. How can good Christians be expected to divine the plan beamed directly to their brains by Elgar, the great Satanic disco ball?
Men explaining relationships using Mario as a guide
by xtine
As a general rule, it’s not a good idea to live life using video games as a model. This post only reinforces that notion.
Salute!
by Crow Skyler
Evidence of just how hip the White House has become under president Obama: Sasha and Malia have a Wii, and it resides in the East Wing.
Obama takes his package to the people and Open wide, America
by Robert Starvation
Uh! yeah! That’s it, right there. Harder, harder, oh fffuuuuuuuuuucccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkk! Don’t stop, don’t ever fucking stop! Spray some of that hot stimulus money on our Rocky Mountain towns!
Four score and sev-What the shit
by Sam Pagan
Really, Matt Fraction? Really? We expected this from Marvel, but we had higher hopes for you than The Gettysburg Distress. And who knew Lincoln was so ripped?
It’s going to take more than death to be rid of some celebrities
by Robert Starvation
This is what happens when a blogger immerses himself in science fiction immediately prior to reading an odd gossip item about American Idol’s Simon Cowell.
Is Yahoo encouraging slavery?
by Ryan Jovian
The short answer is yes. The slightly longer answer is still yes.
Slutty Old People Fear No STDs
by xtine
No one wants to think about geriatrics fornicating, their loose, wrinkly flesh slapping against one another, sweat pooling in their aged crevices, the stench of their incipient death mixing with the sickly-sweet smell of sex…
Beast of the whirlpool abyss
by KK4
…but most people don’t mind thinking about women being “liberated” by washing machines… if you know what we mean.
The Only Time I’ll Defend The Right
by Jessica
What on earth could possibly lead Jessica to take up arms in defense of the right? Read her post and find out. It will increase our hit count.
Chuck Norris is Walker… Texas President?
by KK4
Actor-turned-activist Chuck Norris may appear to be out of his gourd at first blush, but he will be a fair yet firm overlord.
Dear Rick Santelli, and Rick Santelli is an exhibitionist and a masochist
by Robert Starvation
Though we couldn’t have known when Rick Santelli burst into the public consciousness, this mouthpiece of an unrepentant Wall Street was actually involving us all in something rather unsavory.
Liberté! Égalité! Fraternité!
by Robert Starvation
Remember that one week where Americans were angry enough to stage their version of the French Revolution, if only they had the attention spans for such an undertaking? Too bad that didn’t work out. A few public executions would have made everyone feel better.
More Mass-Distraction?
by Jessica
“How dare Re:Generator’s writers accuse me of being easily distractable? Why, I outta… ooo, shiny!”
A Look at Lazy Town
by Sam Pagan
Kids, don’t dye your hair bubblegum pink or you may get molested.
The Walking School Bus
by Isaac James
Back in my day, we had to walk three miles to school in the middle of a blizzard where ice chunks as sharp as razor blades cut my friends in half but miraculously spared me. Kids today have it so easy, with their piedibus mobs…
