2009 was not an easy year. In the midst of the worst economic crisis in living memory, certain adjustments had to be made. Some of our veteran writers posted less, or went off the grid altogether. Those who did stick around often had to contend with competing priorities, with writing for the love of writing trailing behind the need to have a roof over their heads and food in their bellies. Despite these hardships, Re:Generator was still capable of rising to the occasion, producing work as good as or better than anything we’ve done since we burst onto the scene in the boom days of 2006. We welcomed talented new writers into the fold; we gave coordinated and entertaining coverage of San Diego Comic-Con, and appeared in an episode of Hey Ash Whatcha Playin’ filmed at Penny Arcade Expo; we painted a fairly accurate portrait of life at the beginning of the Obama era, agitated honkeys and all; and we held on to our collective sanity by the skin of our teeth. These are no small accomplishments, and we hope hope you, like us, see better days as we enter a new decade.
Comic-Con International: The weight of singularity, You too can command machines, Star Worlds: The Clonings, Hey kids…, DC Universe Online. Cue screaming nerds, Green Lantern: Blackest Night, True Blood at the Con, Gays at Comic-Con, Marvel Video Games at the Con, Ratchet & Clank, Get Scalped, Comic-Con International 2009: Jovian’s Take, Comic-Con: Isaac’s Wrap Up, Comic-Con: That’s a wrap and more…
by Staff
Ah, San Diego in late July: A time and place pregnant with possibility, as creators and fans converge on the convention center to rub elbows and rub each other the wrong way. Comic-Con International is too big to be ignored, and therefore too vast and unknowable to be an entirely pleasant experience. Regardless of the circumstances, our writers put a great deal of effort into conveying the madcap chaos of it all, and succeeded beyond our wildest dreams.
All that’s left is for California to fall into the ocean
by Robert Starvation
“Arnold! What is best in life?” “To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women.”
Advancing in another direction
by Sarah Palin
Don’t ask us how we keep getting now-former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin to contribute to Re:Generator. Seriously. We’re sworn to secrecy.
Man Loses Penis to Saw
by Isaac James
Of all the ways a man can lose his member, this one seems most likely to lead to a wicked case of PTSD.
Bambi, NO!
by Sam Pagan
If you’re going to beat a helpless fawn to death with a shovel, the considerate follow-up involves making a hat from its skin and stew from its flesh.
Shatner!
by Ryan Jovian
Old Man Shatner’s makes Mrs. Palin’s ramblings sound downright poetic.
Tax Fraud Adventure Land
by Robert Starvation
I heard a rumor that God makes his employees work double shifts off the clock, and only allows them to use the restroom once every eight hours!
A whole new world, a dazzling place I never knew
by Sam
Human-animal hybrids are a popular political punching bag, but Sam Brownback should keep in mind that the Centaur lobby gains more influence on Capital Hill every year.
Blackwaters run deep
by KK4
Xe (nee Blackwater) continues to operate in Iraq because they know where all the bodies are buried. As it turns out, literally.
Kitty Porn
by Jessica
Whoa, now! Before you judge, you should keep in mind that many felines make a fuckton of money on the side trafficking child pornography. That’s probably what happened here.
Right-wing conspiracy theories we’ll soon hear as they’re screamed at us
by Ryan Jovian and Robert Starvation
Aware that right-wing conspiracy theories start at a slow burn before they engulf the grassroots like wildfire, Re:Generator did a little digging to find out which fringe ideas will soon be attracting the media’s attention as they’re yelled, with no consideration for the more fine-tuned hearing of others, by demented geriatrics and Glenn Beck-obsessed Kool-Aid drinkers. This is what we found.
The problem with Alex Jones
by Kyle
Um, everything?
This is Why We’re Fat
by Crow Skyler
I’ll have the 50-pound burger with the heart attack fries and a side of Gastrojejunocolic fistula.
Thiefling!
by Isaac James
As every observant parent knows, kids are sociopaths who won’t think twice about stealing from you. But darn it if the little bastards aren’t as cute as buttons!
Oh cruel, unsympathetic world
by Sam Pagan
Feel sorry for the rich? The rich certainly feel sorry for the rich.
Stranger Danger
by Robert Starvation
Thanks to this informational video, we’re now officially afraid of everything.
I still want a Pickelhaube
by KK4
Fresh from a viewing of Inglorious Basterds, KK4 expands upon Quentin Tarantino’s characterizations of Sgt. Werner Rachtman and Pvt. Fredrick Zoller.
Well Now, Don’t You Feel Silly?
by Jessica
KISS worked hard to throw the perfect surprise party, Canada, and then you had to go and ruin it. KISS hopes you’re happy.
Spider-men of the Carribean and Disney & Marvel Comics
by Ryan Jovian and Isaac James
The Mouse has taken over the House of Ideas, resulting in a Beast Redundancy. Ryan and Isaac posit two very different views about what this holds for the future of comics.
The Continuing War on Terror
by Jessica
NATO had regard for the lives of civilians, but it got blown up with the rest of the villagers.
Ban on Divorce?
by Crow Skyler
If straight people can dictate the personal lives of gays, what – other than sheer numbers – is to stop it from being the other way around?
Taylor Swift doesn’t care about black people
by Robert Starvation
Because every bit of snark Robert promulgates eventually proves to be true, pictures of Taylor Swift hugging a man with a swastika painted on his shirt surfaced soon after the incident in question.
Salvation Mountain: or How I Learned to Stop Fighting and Love the Desert
by Monika Molluska
Finally, an answer to the age-old question “What is past Indio? Strawberry fields and a toxic lake?”
TLC, we’re only here to help
by Ryan Jovian and Robert Starvation
TLC, please put us on your payroll. We’ve got ideas up to our eyeballs, and you’ve giving away money to goobers like its going out of style.
Penny Arcade Expo 2009: The Aftermath, The Games and The Conclusion
by Sam Pagan
Other than Sam nearly catching Swine Flu (other attendees actually did, just to contextualize), Penny Arcade Expo was like a three-day Disneyland for nerds of the gamer persuasion.
