Stop whatever the fuck you’re doing to us. Right now. I know that earthquakes are a natural phenomenon caused by the shifting of tectonic plates, and that placing a request for an entire planet to JUST STOP is about as effective and quixotic as petitioning our galaxy’s sun to henceforth cease to burn, but maybe if you could just hang back for the next 9 months or so? The population of creatures that have barely figured out how to walk upright and talk – all six billion-plus of them – were all adamant that 2010 be better than 2009, an aspiration that grows increasingly unachievable if we’re going to be bombarded with violent upendings of your crust every month or so. The dust had barely settled from Haiti’s total collapse of anything resembling infrastructure when you unloaded a 8.8 magnitude quake on Chile and put roughly one-fourth of the planet on alert under Tsunami alert. That includes Hawaii, California, Oregon, Washington, and even Russia. Hey Earth, we get it. You’re powerful. But if you feel the constant need to show off with catastrophe after catastrophe, maybe you’re compensating for something.
