Yes, we suspect what you might be thinking, but shielding the world from Drunklando’s arch-tangential, grammatically dubious rants is the moral equivalent of drowning a sack of kittens in the Hudson River. That’s why we’re sharing the below with our readers – as a public service. And don’t let anyone suggest otherwise. —Re:Generator MGMT
One of my favorite directors recently made bantha fodder and ripped me off for 11 US dollars. This great director that I hold so dearly close to my cinematic heart is none other than Sir Ridley Scott. His recent take on the Robin Hood tale is one that is non-climatic at best. Aside from the 8 billion arrows that were launched throughout the film, it lacked the type of action sequences that you would come to expect from an epic that involves the great Russell Crowe.
I was expecting Gladiator II, but instead I got a remake that was no better than the Miami Vice remake with Jamie Fox and Colin Farrell. Actually, to be honest with you, I’d rather watch ANY version of Miami Vice over this pile and waste of time. I won’t say that there were not parts of Robin Hood that I enjoyed, but there were just too few of them to justify the long drawn out story that they had thrown together. I heard that the original script for this movie was thrown out after Ridley Scott had already signed on to direct it and was quickly remade into this “prequel” that made no sense to the viewer. I can only imagine what the Euro dudes were thinking when they watched this film completely distort actual history and “it fit” the story.
Russell Crowe of course plays the role of Robin Hood, an honest archer who has been on King Richard the Lionheart’s Crusade for a decade. King Richard requests fan honest reply from our hero Crowe and he is not content with his answer and damns them to Hell. Richard is shortly killed in battle and Robin and his men are freed and head for the hills. Upon their decent, they find some Knights of the Round Table who are returning the King’s crown but have been ambushed. One Knight who happens to be the son of Sir Robert Loxley begs Crowe to return his fathers sword back to him. Russell Crowe accidentally takes an oath in blood and is compelled to return the sword back to Nottingham, where he finds his wench to be Lady Marion who is played by the super bleached out Cate Blanchett.
Lady Marion is more farmer than Lady and presumes the role of “Sexual Tension Giver” to our hero Crowe. Although the movie does not dive into any bedroom scenes between the two, they create a tense bond but unfortunately not intense enough for an audience who had to live through the teenage sexual angst of such movies like Twilight and The Twilight Saga: New Moon. Come on Sir Ridley Scott, it’s the year 2010 and we need our sexual tension to leave us with a giant case of blue balls!
I would say if you must see a movie this weekend, don’t go see Robin Hood. You are better off waiting for the Redbox version, which I’m sure will be stocked at your local Walmart in a short time. I would, however, recommend some of Sir Ridley Scott’s other great movies, which you can rent or own for very cheap these days like: Alien, Blade Runner, Legend and the original Gladiator which I give my happy two thumbs up to each and everyone of these.
I’m not sure if people are ready for an epic in the year 2010. The attention span of the masses has been degraded to that of an infant – we are mere clones now. We ask for our entertainment to come out of the screen in 3D form and attack us, or we need it to scare the living shit out of us so that we have nightmares which can rate how good a film is. It’s a sad state for film making and it’s a sad state for us who will not sit through an epic with great dialect and cinematography only, it has to be stuffed with CG animated tricks and plenty of one liners to keep present day humans entertained. It’s sad but it’s true. By the way, when are directors going to realize that prequels tend to suck balls anyway? Did we forget about the Star Wars prequels?
