People are suffering. They’re enslaved and they’re suffering, and only one man can save them: the messiah, Steve Jobs. The guy has to be at least part deity, the way Apple diehards revere everything He does, even when He gives a decent product like the iPad a terrible name that reminds people of a sanitary napkin. But that’s all part of His greater plan to liberate the world from its ills. His is a message of freedom.
Yep, freedom from programs that steal your private data. Freedom from programs that trash your battery. Freedom from porn. Yep, freedom. The times they are a changin’, and some traditional PC folks feel like their world is slipping away. It is.
To enter His kingdom, the Apple-obsessed are going to have to give up some of their earthly desires. They’d best hurry and give porn now. They don’t want to incur the Lord Jobs’ wrath. Verily, an angry messiah’s words cut like a scalpel, for He knows their innermost thoughts:
You are so misinformed. … You can disagree with us, but our motives are pure. By the way, what have you done that’s so great? Do you create anything, or just criticize others work and belittle their motivations?
Thus sayeth Steve Jobs.
