With Rudolph “9/11″ Giuliani outpacing Mitt “Shiny Underwear” Romney, Fred “The Mole” Thompson, John “Why is he still in this race?” McCain, Ron “Dark Horse” Paul and a battery of Bible-thumping lesser-knowns, Christian Fundamentalists are resigning themselves to the fact that a pro-abortion candidate may cinch the Republican Party’s nomination. Of course, on Planet Rapture, “resigning themselves” translates into laying the groundwork for a theocratic third party.
A small group of highly influential conservative Christian leaders, which included
James C. Dobson of Focus on the Family, who is perhaps its most influential member; Tony Perkins of the Family Research Council; [and] Richard A. Viguerie, the direct-mail pioneer
recently met in Salt Lake City, Utah* to explore the viability of an “All savior, all the time” platform. Conferring with each other after the requisite 45 minutes of Olympic-level praying for divine guidance and money, they produced a guarded statement which threatened “if the Republican Party nominates a pro-abortion candidate we will consider running a third-party candidate.â€
The message to party leaders is clear: Find someone a bit more to the evangelical power structure’s liking, or Bush’s base is going elsewhere. Whether the threat can actually be backed up is another matter. Everyday conservative Christians have such a pronounced fear of vagina dentata they may vote Republican to try and keep Hillary Clinton out of office. And if they can pull it off, the “value vote” may splinter the GOP in a way no amount of Democratic rule ever could.
*Utah knows a thing or ten about blurring the separation between church and state, even if the Christian Coalition rates Mormons only marginally more favorably than the Antichrist.
