Devin Faraci over at chud.com asks: What if Jaws was made today?
It wouldn’t just be about a huge shark who terrorizes and eats people. The shark would have a dark past and every character connected to it would also have a story behind them as deep as the ocean. Here are a few of the changes that Devin thinks we would see:
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● Michael Cera stars as Matt Hooper. He has an extensive backstory where we learn that his connection to the shark is deeply personal.
● Of course there’s a CGI shark, but this CGI shark will be doing things no other CGI shark has ever done, including insane acrobatics. But more importantly this is a character story, so Andy Serkis will be hired to do the mocap for the CGI shark.
● All of the Orca scenes are shot against a greenscreen in a water tank. It’s just more reasonable on the budget.
● Webisodes are released revealing the important missing moments, like what happened to Ben Gardner, what Hooper did after the cage was destroyed, and how Michael won his school talent show with an original song.
It practically promises to kill the suspense the original Jaws built up so well and it would, unfortunately, sell pretty well. Let’s hope JJ Abrams doesn’t get any ideas.
Here’s the rest of the list for more cringe-worthyness.
