The American people have had enough. They’re angry, and the more they learn about sundry economic injustices perpetrated by the bourgeoisie, the angrier they get. The mood on the street isn’t so different from the mood of peasants just before the French Revolution, and as such, we will be making a few recommendations to the angry mobs and would-be revolutionary leaders.
The cause of populist outrage:
“The president goes out and says this is not acceptable and then some backroom deal gets cut to let these things get paid out anyway,” said Sen. Ron Wyden, (D., Ore.), author of an earlier, alternative pay amendment, told the Associated Press.The Obama administration had not tried to hide its concern about the moves to clamp down on executive compensation. Both Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner and National Economic Council Director Lawrence Summers lobbied Mr. Dodd to make changes.
Administration officials said the Treasury didn’t suggest any language or say how the amendment should be changed. They said they noted legal issues that could likely lead to challenges, but was the end of their involvement. The official said Mr. Dodd and Congress made the final changes on their own.
Our recommendation: Storm the Bastille.
The cause of populist outrage:
At least 13 firms receiving billions of dollars in bailout money owe a total of more than $220 million in unpaid federal taxes, a key lawmaker said Thursday.Rep. John Lewis, D-Ga., chairman of a House subcommittee overseeing the federal bailout, said two firms owe more than $100 million apiece.
Our recommendation: Make them pay the back taxes, then imprison them for life.
The cause of populist outrage:
The Dems are suggesting that if you work on Wall Street, you can get a full, unlimited bonus, perhaps in the millions, even if you make $249,000 a year. But if you work on main street, and earn more than $75,000 a year, the Democrats in Congress just passed legislation making sure that you don’t get the full $8,000 first-time homebuyer tax credit, because you’re too “rich.” See, if you make $75,000 a year NOT on Wall Street, you’re “rich” according to the Democrats in Congress. But if you make $249,999 a year on Wall Street, you get a free handout, courtesy of the American people! … So to recap: To the Dems in Congress, if you make more than $75,000 a year and work on Main Street, you’re rich and undeserving of federal help. But if you make up to a quarter of a million a year, and work on Wall Street, you’re middle class and the sky’s the limit. And even better, you $75,000 a year people are actually paying for the $249,000 a year people to get their benefits!
Our recommendation: Off with their heads.
The cause of populist outrage:
A 36-year-old Swedish countess divorcing a former CEO says she cannot live on $43 million.Marie Douglas-David, a former investment banker, says she has no income and needs her 67-year-old husband, George David, to pay her more than $53,000 a week _ more than most U.S. households make in a year _ to cover her expenses.
Our recommendation: For fuck’s sake, her name’s Marie. Do we really need to spell this one out for you?
The cause of populist outrage:
American International Group Inc. Chief Executive Edward Liddy and employees at the insurer’s troubled derivatives unit have received death threats amid a national furor over big bonuses the company recently paid. Liddy said Wednesday he has asked most recipients of more than $160 million in bonuses to repay at least half the money. But he warned that staff may resign when they return the cash, making it more difficult to unwind AIG’s remaining $1.6 trillion book of derivatives. He also said the identities of the bonus recipients should not be made public, because that could put employees in further danger. He read one of the threats, which said AIG staff and their families should be executed “with piano wire.”
Our recommendation: Make recipients of the bonuses pay them back. If they don’t cooperate, reveal their names and throw them to the fire and pitchforks set. If they do, reveal their names, but give them a head start before sicking a mob on them.
Well that was… irresponsible. Viva La Revolución!
