Humans are not boa constrictors. They cannot simply unhinge their jaws when their meal proves to be more daunting than initially surmised. A Georgia man was either ignorant or apathetic to this fact while downing the double meat, double cheese sandwich at the Which ‘Wich chain restaurant, resulting in 14 hours of lockjaw and plenty of bad puns from the media. Let’s get the worst out of the way:
A Georgia man bit off more than he could chew — literally — when he dislocated his jaw while trying to eat a super-sized sandwich.
Get it? Because his… jaw…
Because he hadn’t eaten all day, he ordered a version with twice the meat and cheese, which made his jaw drop.
Like he was shocked! Ha ha! Ha… ha?
Ettmueller had his jaw locked in the open mouth, insert foot (or sandwich) position for more than 14 hours…
*rim shot*
But what makes this case extraordinarily unusual is what DIDN’T happen. Ettmueller didn’t run off to a lawyer hoping to get a fat settlement. Instead, he went to them asking for another fat sandwich to replace the one he never finished.
Writer David Moye for AOL News, I’m coming for you. This many bad jokes in quick succession is punishable by execution, unless I’m the one who made them! And I didn’t. So – death.
Which ‘Wich national marketing director Tim Schroeder admits the fear of a lawsuit even larger than the sandwich…
I suggest you start running now.
