It’s a common concern of most young parents that the name they bestow upon their child will be too old-fashioned, too new-agey, or be the kind of moniker that will invariably get them bloodied by thuggish tykes on the playground. Not these parents, of course. Michael and Karolina Tomaro want to call their six-month-old daughter “Metallica.” They’re of the opinion that there’s no better name for a baby girl than that of a gaggle of self-important, washed-up, Napster-suing, documentary-making wankers. Swedish courts don’t agree.
I have to side with the parents on this one, even though I cringed violently when I read Karolina proclaim “It suits her. She’s decisive and she knows what she wants.” Right. A child that’s been out of her womb a mere six months and (I’m just guessing from the above quote from her caregivers) is nowhere near the acquisition of language knows what she wants. But it should be up to the parents to give their offspring the name they see fit. And when they’re sued by Metallica (the band) for copyright infringement, it should be their right to scratch their heads cluelessly as “Master of Puppets” blasts in the background and wonder why their favorite band would do this to them.
Slayer, on the other hand, is a perfect name for a child, girl or boy.
