If members of beautifulpeople.com thought they were safe once they’d been accepted into the site’s discerning community, they were under the false impression that others would show a little understanding if they packed on a few pounds during the glutenous holiday season. In a move assuredly designed to garner maximum publicity, BP dropped some 5000 of its members, citing their “no fatties” rule.
“As a business, we mourn the loss of any member, but the fact remains that our members demand the high standard of beauty be upheld. Letting fatties roam the site is a direct threat to our business model and the very concept for which BeautifulPeople.com was founded,” Robert Hintze, founder of BeautifulPeople.com, said in a statement.
If allowed to prowl the hallowed halls of beautifulpeople.com unchallenged, Fatties would form herds and pick off attractive singles one by one. These savage beasts would start by eating the singles’ beautiful faces, a cruel blow to the psyche of people who breezed through life based on the pleasant aspects of their heads. Then they’d be eaten alive, but the important bit is the face eating. That can’t be allowed to happen. The site’s lost so much to the Fattie horde already. It ends here!
