If people were following me around all the time, I’d make sure to wear undies every day and to not mistake shirts for dresses. But then again, I’m not Britney Spears. She flashed her good girl again after her disastrous performance at the VMAs. At this point, I know more about her vagina than I know about my own. Robert and I got to talking about why on earth doesn’t she cover up. She knows that the paparazzi will be staring right up her skirt: why not wear a pair of bicycle shorts underneath? That’s what my mom made me do, anyhow. Robert thought that perhaps her vagina needs a constant supply of fresh air. Britney, if that’s so, please accept my gift of the USB powered chair far. It plugs right into any USB port and will air condition your ass. In return, please stop showing me your bald and irritated vagina. It gives me sympathy vagina pain just looking at it, and I have to fight the urge to hunt you down and smear neosporin all over it. Thanks.
