President Barack Obama is usually a patient man, but he’s sensitive to the needs and desires of America, and America wants his package. Now. This shouldn’t be much of a problem, but the Republican opposition, priggish at the best of times, has been packageblocking while the middle and lower classes beg for a taste. Their antiquated morality dictates opposition to anything they consider unnatural, like giving a helping hand to anyone not already lucky enough to be well-endowed. In their pants. Where their credit card clips are.
The truth is, although it throbs and contracts in size, president Obama’s package is generally agreed upon to be huge. Republicans think Lady Liberty can’t handle something of that size, so lawmakers on both sides of the aisle are working long and hard to make it fit. All of this bi-partisan tugging is only leaving Obama and his sweet country frustrated, with the net effect of no one getting what they want out of it. O doesn’t think a layer of “protection” between him and us is helping stimulate our economy at all, so, confident that it will be better if we do it this way, he’s taking his package directly to the people.
It feels so good when he’s close to us, whispering sweet minutiae of the recovery plan into our ears. It feels… nice, to finally be with a president who knows how to treat America right, who won’t knock us down then tell us we mean more to him than anything else in the world without ever admitting he was wrong or promising to stop. America is more ready for his package than the daddy party knows, and if it doesn’t stop trying to get between us and him, it just may find we don’t need it as much as we thought it did. America is growing up. It’s about time they started treating us like adults.
