Komodo Dragons are at war with humanity. Unbeknownst to us at the time, the death of an eight-year-old Jakartan boy in 2007 was not an anomaly, but the shot heard ’round the dragon world. No longer would the brusque beasts stand for whatever it is humans do that offend them so much.
In the two years since, a fisherman has also died by their claws, and countless others have been wounded after the hulking creatures bum rushed them or bit their ankles. Experts agree that Komodo Dragons needs to chill the fuck out, and fast – they may have long, jaded, venomous teeth, but it’s not like they know how to fire machine guns. Yet.
The key to dragon-human harmony may be found in an Indonesian folk tale:
A popular traditional legend tells of a man who once married a dragon “princess.” Their twins, a human boy, Gerong, and a lizard girl, Orah, were separated at birth.
When Gerong grew up, the story goes, he met a fierce-looking beast in the forest. But just as he was about to spear it, his mother appeared, revealing to him that the two were brother and sister.
So all we need to do to is fuck the dragons within the bonds of holy matrimony, parent a bunch of freaky hybrid babies and get ‘the wife’ to play referee whenever her offspring are about to kill each other. Problem solved.
