Crocodiles are supposed to be cold-blooded creatures without much aptitude for long-distance swimming, so how is it they get so much travelling done? According to Australian ecologist Hamish Campbell, estuarine crocodiles can surf, riding currents on the open seas for hundreds of miles.
Nowhere is safe from crocs. They’ve always been a danger to other living animals, but with their discovery of leisure travel, they’ve become a far worse creature – the annoying tourist. They’ll want to visit castle after castle in the English countryside under the mistaken assumption that tour guides taste better, insist on pretending they’re holding up the Leaning Tower of Pisa in their photos of the landmark like no one ever thought to try that before they came along, and make tacky, vaguely racist comments about the Chinese during their Great Wall of China stop.
They will, in short, be more of a nightmare than they ever were when they just wanted to end our lives.
