The Large Hadron Collider at CERN has long been a source of worry for those both well-versed in science and fearful of even the remotest possibility of a small black hole opening on Earth, ending life as we know it. Fortune smiles upon those inveterate worrywarts, for the LHC has been bedeviled by problems since its grand debut – and subsequent shutdown nine days later – last September.
Some scientists would say the delays are unfortunate but part of the process. More creative scientists would ascribe such troubles to a force greater than themselves, such as karma. Then there are those who propose that the Universe is reaching back through time to prevent a catastrophe of unimaginable consequences from tearing asunder the very fabric of time.
In this Wagnarian imagining of a future sufficiently bleak that that Nature itself is compelled to self-correct, the hitherto theoretical Higgs boson particle has time-jumped to prevent its creation. If there’s one attribute the Higgs boson of Dystopia is known for, it’s a sense of self-loathing nursed into a perverse need to erased all traces of its own existence. This is not the kind of particle you want to bring to a social gathering, because it will bring everyone down… before killing them and everyone else.
