Names are supposed to mean something. Names shape character, and if you’re a band, may even fuel media coverage. When you stumble upon an awesome name like Natalie Portman’s Shaved Head, you hold onto it for dear life, not exchange it for the tawdry moniker Brite Futures.
Brite Futures? Pah! The only thing bright in this band’s future now is the white light often reported by people who have died and returned to tell the tale.
Since “Brite Futures” is from Seattle, I’ll cite another Northwest band as means of convincing them they’re being idiots. There once was a Portland band named Starfucker. The name’s a little uncommercial, to be sure, but indisputably excellent. For reasons known only to their manager, Starfucker changed their name to PYRAMID (all in caps, like YACHT or HEALTH), then Pyramiddd, and almost immediately changed it back to Starfucker, as it was infinitely superior.
See? It’s not too late, Natalie Portman’s Shaved Head. Sometimes you have to step back to move forward.
