10. Vacationing in Iraq. Turns out the January elections were a turning point – just not a turning point for the better.
9. Buying into the lonelygirl15 hype. Unlike so many of our out-of-touch, over-the-hill compatriots in the media, we knew right away that a) it was a sham and b) wasn’t that interesting to people who hadn’t just discovered this mysterious swarm of words, pictures and moving pictures known as the internet.
8. Caring about the sexual orientation of celebrities. From Doogie Houser to Lance Bass to that guy from Grey’s Anatomy, we really don’t care about who they engage in sexual congress with. It really doesn’t make that much of a difference. No, seriously.
7. Being implicated in the Alexander Litvinenko Polonium-210 poisoning plot. Not as easy as it sounds. Ahem.
6. Jumping on the anti-Mel Gibson bandwagon. We were calling Mel Gibson a crazy, red-nosed, possibly racist right wing nutcase long before it became trendy, thank you very much!
5. Giving Chancellor Merkel a shoulder massage. As tempting as it seemed at the time, Merkel’s hostile reaction to President Bush’s magic hands forced us to rethink seducing Germany’s most powerful woman.
4. Writing a tell-all book. Really, would anything we wrote about compare to “If I Did It”?
3. Betting all or nothing on a Republican victory. Anyone would feel burned after the trouncing Dems were dealt in the 2002 and 2004 elections, but we had to hope against hope (and Diebold)…
2. Suing Sacha Baron Cohen. Suing the comedian for capturing you acting like a big, fat drunken idiot just makes you look like an even bigger fat drunken idiot.
1. Going out business. Boy, that would have been embarrassing one or two issues in. We’ll save that for next year.
