Some people may say I’m prejudiced, and those people are right. Just… whenever I see these blemishes of society I want to break things. How dare someone bring them into this world? How dare they think that we could just accept it as a fact of life and move on? This is the 21st century, god damnit, and I won’t stand for this (in)tolerance.
The chocolate creme Oreos have to go!
And take those mint ones with you, too! We don’t need your kind tainting the cookie industry’s finest with your muddled and confused inner workings. “The White Stuff,” as Weird Al Yankovic once sang, really is the only thing that makes an Oreo what it is and nothing else can change that. So keep your double stuf, your chocolate creme, your mint creme, and even the yellow stuff that comes out during the spring, and just give me the classic Oreo to enjoy as my dinner.
Is it so hard to appreciate what is possibly the perfect balance between delicious chocolate wafers and fine milky cream goodness sandwiched between them? No, it’s not, and I shall force these views upon others until they can learn to taste the truth in a milk-soaked chocolatey biscuit.
Victory will be mine!
Hey, don’t judge me. Judge this guy instead.
