Vaginas and clitorises just can’t get any government love these days, can they? Lest you thought only Texas has ass-backwards restrictions on the sale of sex toys, Alabama – home to oversized hogs, militias who make plans to gun down Mexicans en masse and a storied history of fuck all – only allows the sale of vibrators if it can be proven a woman requires its stimulation for a “bona fide medical” purpose.
Adult stores have been locked in legal battle with the proud red state for nine years, but SCOTUS has declined to hear the challenge to the law, sending it back to an unfriendly lower court. At least one shop owner isn’t taking the news sitting down. Sherri Williams, channeling a sexed-up, female Charlton Heston, declared “My motto has been they are going to have to pry this vibrator from my cold, dead hand.” Come to think of it, if a second Constitutional Convention is ever held, vibrators should have the same sort of constitutional protections firearms already enjoy.
