You’ve seen the best. Now we present to you the worst book of 2008.
Congratulations, Stephanie Meyer. You have officially written the biggest piece of shit that I have ever held in my hands. I’m embarrassed to admit that I was relatively okay with the Twilight series as a whole. Granted, it supported the regression of the female species (mock quote: “Oh no! My vampire boyfriend left me! I’m going to do reckless things in an attempt to kill myself because I’m simply too shallow to live without him!”) so it was more of a mixed bag than anything. But then came the last 150 pages of Breaking Dawn, and everything changed.
Stephanie Meyer successfully broke some of the most unbreakable laws of writing within those final pages. She started conflicts and subplots which she did not resolve (Volturi, anyone?). She heightened tensions to something that was near tangible for the readers, but then dropped the ball on the climax (arguably, she did that all along with the frustrating sexual tensions starting in book one). And she created the unthinkable: the Mary Sue. In a nutshell, a Mary Sue is a main character who is so obnoxiously flawless that even the willful suspension of disbelief will not fool a reader into buying this character. Thus Bella Swan became, in Breaking Dawn, the best example of the worst Mary Sue ever created.
Stephanie Meyer made steaming-pile-of-shit history with Breaking Dawn. And I’m thrilled to learn that her probably-piece-of-shit book Midnight Sun was leaked on the internet, and in a fit of tantrums, will not be published and will never contaminate a bookstore. —Jessica
