Abstinence-only education has created a generation of young Americans utterly clueless about the true workings of human sexuality. There is no better example in this fair country of ours than that of Erick and Jennifer Jhonson.
Erick, being a military man, had to spend time away from his wife to prevent Iraqis from blowing each other up. When he returned after an extended tour of duty, he found his wife to be quite unexpectedly with child. Jennifer insisted to her husband she hadn’t been cheating on him, but that advances in 3D technology, championed by visionaries like James Cameron, had lead to her impregnation vis-à-vis the viewing of a 3D porno. What’s more, Erick seemed to have bought his wife’s story, telling the press “The films in 3D are very real. With today’s technology, anything is possible.”
With today’s cuckolded husband, there are only two possibilities. The first is that he really is that stupid, and he also buys that the child his wife has now given birth to is black because the male performer in the magical adult movie had the same racial ancestry. The second possibility, and the one I hope is true for the sake of the country’s collective intelligence, is that he loves his wife enough to make a fool of himself in public to save face – and their marriage. Either way, those 3D pornos should be pulled from the shelves before someone else’s womb is invaded.
