Welcome to the Big Gay Marriage Club, Connecticut! Although it’s not clear how much longer California will be able to attend meetings, at least Massachusetts won’t be making coffee and brownies for itself.
Being one of the charter states for the gay marriage experiment isn’t without its benefits. Gay tourist and wedding dollars will come pouring in, and I’m pretty sure you get a 35 percent discount from most of the upscale department stores. But know this: there will be a backlash. There are people who believe your otherness deprives you of happiness. It’s a morally dubious claim, but like many such morally dubious claims, it hides in the cloak of religion.
That’s why, though you may be celebrating today, you need to prepare for war tomorrow. The religious right is going to throw everything it has at you, because the more states that legalize gay marriage, the further it undermines their argument that it undermines not only so-called “traditional marriage,” but the very foundations of society itself.
Gay marriage didn’t spread our military too thin. Gay marriage didn’t break the debt clock. Gay marriage may have assassinated Robert Kennedy, but that’s all ancient history now. The only thing that can make a joke out of heterosexual marriage is heterosexuals, and they’ve been doing a bang-up job of it without gay marriages help. With 43 percent of marriages ending in divorce within 15 years, I’d rather put my money in the stock market than bet on that farce.
With your membership you get one laminated membership card (don’t lose it!), a subscription to Homosexual Unions Quarterly, free samples of Starbucks’ Coffee of the Month, and your governor’s name entered in a drawing to win a new MacBook Pro.
